I’m In a “Whatever” With a Guy I Really Like
How to Get a Boyfriend in College
Hoping For Those Three Little Words
Does My Boyfriend Love My Sister?
Learning to Swim in the Deep End
Is Casual Sex Destroying Empathy?
Learning to Speak Hookup: Guys’ Edition
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Narcissism
Rum says:
August 12, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Susan
OK, “Love of the cock follows from love of the man…” Sure, we knew that. But you yourself brought up the subject of the actual performance of the cock itself – I mean, “performance” anxiety says what it says.
I had this girlfriend, once, who would collapse at her knees with orgasmic paralysis whenever I twisted her nipples hard enough. Especially in the toilet rooms of skanky bars.
Susan Walsh says:
August 12, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Rum,
Well, just to clarify, when I said performance anxiety I really meant just a general sense of not being experienced enough, not having all the moves, etc. One young guy told me that after his friends hook up, they’re always talking about how they made the girl scream like crazy and beg for more. He worried because no girl had ever done that with him. Your nipple-sensitive ex notwithstanding, most women won’t put on that kind of a show. I suspect that guys borrow liberally from porn when describing their exploits.
tspoon says:
August 12, 2010 at 10:03 pm
‘If you are female and have a high partner count, you should not mention this fact to your potential LTR male partner, while knowing that this is of extremely high importance to that person.’
I’m not sure if that’s such great advice Susan. Although I do realise that your advice is pitched toward women manily.
Picture yourself as a 35 year old female using her dwindling powers of attraction to find an LTR. Even if the subject never comes up, males are acutely aware of the subject, any man with half a brain will ‘know’ eventually what kind of lady this is. There’s just too many ‘tells’ most of which males pick up without it even registering conciously.
So eventually he’ll know and decide. The possibilities are :
A/ Doesn’t care, has a high partner count himself. Probably the best you could hope for, although her ability to get this guy is somewhat reduced. Unlikely to happen…
B/ Doesn’t care, just wants a woman. The next best you could hope for? IMO it would take a hell of a man to successfully sublimate this most powerful of male imperatives, it would likely manifest itself as recurring jealousy, disrespect and argumentativeness. Coupled with the fact that the female will feel that she is settling somewhat, and having a general lack of respect for that male, it’s a rocky road all round. Despite your words to the contrary, this is an increasingly common occurrence.
How to Get a Boyfriend in College
Hoping For Those Three Little Words
Does My Boyfriend Love My Sister?
Learning to Swim in the Deep End
Is Casual Sex Destroying Empathy?
Learning to Speak Hookup: Guys’ Edition
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Narcissism
Rum says:
August 12, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Susan
OK, “Love of the cock follows from love of the man…” Sure, we knew that. But you yourself brought up the subject of the actual performance of the cock itself – I mean, “performance” anxiety says what it says.
I had this girlfriend, once, who would collapse at her knees with orgasmic paralysis whenever I twisted her nipples hard enough. Especially in the toilet rooms of skanky bars.
Susan Walsh says:
August 12, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Rum,
Well, just to clarify, when I said performance anxiety I really meant just a general sense of not being experienced enough, not having all the moves, etc. One young guy told me that after his friends hook up, they’re always talking about how they made the girl scream like crazy and beg for more. He worried because no girl had ever done that with him. Your nipple-sensitive ex notwithstanding, most women won’t put on that kind of a show. I suspect that guys borrow liberally from porn when describing their exploits.
tspoon says:
August 12, 2010 at 10:03 pm
‘If you are female and have a high partner count, you should not mention this fact to your potential LTR male partner, while knowing that this is of extremely high importance to that person.’
I’m not sure if that’s such great advice Susan. Although I do realise that your advice is pitched toward women manily.
Picture yourself as a 35 year old female using her dwindling powers of attraction to find an LTR. Even if the subject never comes up, males are acutely aware of the subject, any man with half a brain will ‘know’ eventually what kind of lady this is. There’s just too many ‘tells’ most of which males pick up without it even registering conciously.
So eventually he’ll know and decide. The possibilities are :
A/ Doesn’t care, has a high partner count himself. Probably the best you could hope for, although her ability to get this guy is somewhat reduced. Unlikely to happen…
B/ Doesn’t care, just wants a woman. The next best you could hope for? IMO it would take a hell of a man to successfully sublimate this most powerful of male imperatives, it would likely manifest itself as recurring jealousy, disrespect and argumentativeness. Coupled with the fact that the female will feel that she is settling somewhat, and having a general lack of respect for that male, it’s a rocky road all round. Despite your words to the contrary, this is an increasingly common occurrence.