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Nowadays guys want to “hang out” first, and only date if there’s really strong signals of attraction. As a woman, don’t do anything physical in the “hang out” phase. Forget all the advice from men that you should touch him and kiss him. You can do that and get precisely nowhere.

LOL. Really? It sounds like you may be thinking that the hangout phase is when two people are hanging with a group friends, in which case I would agree with you (making out in front of friends = AWKWARD!). That’s not what I’m talking about at all, though. I’m talking about after you’ve met and there is some interest, during a first meetup where it’s just the two of you. A kiss at the end of the night, then some closeness on subsequent outings is exactly how it should be done during this stage if you want him to stay interested. This is part of Girl Game- not to fast or he’ll think “hookup”, not too slow or he’ll lose interest.

The most important thing is emotional escalation. The woman should not escalate physically. She should be the one to escalate emotionally. She should start the deeper conversations, ask the probing questions, and disclose her emotions if she feels them (i.e. “I find myself thinking about you all the time” “It makes me happy when you’re near” “I think I might be falling for you”).

Ok wait, wait, pump the brakes (shaking my head here). You can only do this AFTER you’re both on board with something more serious. Too early on and this is just plain creepy, and screams “clinger” a la Wedding Crashers.

I respect your advice and your opinions on this blog, Hope, but you just plain aren’t being accurate about when it’s appropriate to use these strategies you’re talking about. You have to be more specific.

75Kaikou May 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I agree with you beautiful lady, but in reference to the actual post non of that can happen through text messages or hanging with you while you hang with the boys.

I get it. Men want you to razzle dazzle ‘em and they’ll make you a star. But they need to know how to spot talent or at least potential first or we ain’t making it to Broadway (or rather the morning papers – to keep it era specific)