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Hi Steven and thanks for the comment. (Sidenote: WOW, that’s a LOOOONG paragraph!)

I picked out a couple of important points I would like to chime in on:

#1: “I have talked to her less on the phone.” If you are pulling back, make sure you do this gradually as discussed in the book. You agreed on friendship so don’t turn things around from one day to the next (you’ll find more details in your book).

#2: Her parents not liking you. I have covered this scenario extensively in the FAQ Audio that came with your course. It’s quite a challenge but it can be overcome. You have to earn their respect if you want this work because it seems that they have a lot of control over her.

They did tell you that you could go over whenever you wanted to. That’s great, but don’t wear out your welcome (and aggravate the situation any further).

As for what they think about your associate’s degree, that’s quite irrelevant. You should do what YOU want with your life. Don’t make these kinds of choices based on what other people think.

Steven Says:
September 10th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Hey doc, one of the members or counselors from the repair community hotline that you have, which I am subscribed to told me to not contact her ever more! and other e-mail responses from other counselors were similar in that I should go into no contact. So last night she called me after I had not called or indicated I was going to call her for more than a day and if she didn’t contact me I wouldn’t have contacted her because I was going by your team’s advice. I wanted to follow out a more gradual phase of your withdrawal as suggested in your book, but luckily while your team was giving me advice I was making this gradual phase and it took me 9 days to finally lay it out on her, but she didn’t ask me if there was a problem with me not calling or anything before I laid it on her. Any way I gave her a choice! Him or me, because I am not going to be your friend while you are his girlfriend. Ultimately I was dissapointed inside my head that she chose him over her boyfriend of over 26 months which is me. I didn’t sound dissapointed though, i was cool and calm and told her I need my distance or some time to think and being in contact with you will only cloud these thoughts. She respected my decision but started to bring up “you know you could call me anytime you” MY response. “I have to let you go right now bye” Im sorry to sound so ignorant but tell me what do you think doc about everything? and the whole scenario?